I’ve always been firm about being a parent, not a friend. But, I’ve told my children that I’ll be their friend when they need me to be. All parents are firm at times, but we eventually grow with our kids and do become friends. My story is about one of my best friends, my son, Adam Reichstein, Houston ‘17.

Nearly two years ago, my son was beginning his first year of college, and he lived at home. Because of the circumstances, we all thought it best for him to stay home and help me, because I had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Adam is my youngest child, and he was the only one still at home during this difficult time. Unfortunately, he saw most of what I was going through: I was battling breast cancer, and I lost a part of myself. I had four surgeries, lost my hair due to chemotherapy, 18 months of treatments with awful side affects, and thousands of appointments, tests and doctor visits. He was there to see it all. He lived through it. I think he has a deeper appreciation because it hits closer to home for him.

Eventually, he wanted to join a fraternity, but I wasn’t impressed. Our family has no ties with Greek life, but we allowed him to join with two conditions:

1. He had to keep his grades up. He had to get a good education. That didn’t mean a 4.0, because that doesn’t mean you got a good education. We just didn’t want him to lose focus.
2. He had to pay for his dues on his own. He needed to learn how to be responsible and how to take care of himself. He really wanted to join, so we said okay but he had to be the responsible one. 

When it comes to fraternities, the experience depends on the kid. Some can handle and balance it, but for some it’s nothing more than an “Animal House party.” I’ve always told my son that I didn’t want to choose his college or activities; I wanted him to make choices that made him happy. As parents, we have to have guidelines, but our kids need experiences that they can learn from on their own. Adam did learn from his SigEp experience, and I witnessed it.

My son has become a confident young man. Adam is more driven than ever, and determined to be a leader. SigEp has given him that and a lot of characteristics that will set him up for success beyond college. I’m certain that his experience has helped him to be a better man and son, and that it will guide him to be a better husband, father and worker in the future.

A year ago, my son was representing SigEp in a Greek Life show and asked me to come see it. Of course I went to support my kid, even though I had just lost my hair and was really sick. I’m glad I went because it felt good to get out of the house, and I got to meet Adam’s SigEp brothers.

I was so impressed by his experience and the brothers I met. So, I began to get involved with the chapter as a volunteer and “local mom.” One weekend I went to the fraternity house and made breakfast for about 50 boys, and I showed them how to properly clean the house after. I told them that if they wanted young women to come to the house, that women like clean houses! Soon, it was my house that was getting visits.

Over time, Adam and his brothers would come in and out of the house to eat home-cooked meals, or borrow tools. I told them, “When you’re in my house, you eat!” I began to truly feel involved with SigEp and looked forward to when they’d come by my home. Then, the chapter did the unimaginable.

Valentine’s Day had arrived and Adam told me that the brothers were having a dinner at the house and that he wanted me to come. Of course I went, I thought it was a Valentine’s thing for parents. Wrong. It was just the guys and a few of their sweethearts. I was confused as to why my husband and I were the only parents here. Then, a few brothers came to me and said to follow them. Next thing I know, I’m in the middle of a circle and the brothers started singing. My son joined me in the middle of the circle and that’s when it happened …

They made me a sweetheart.

I can’t tell you how much that night meant to me. It was just the most genuine, sweet, considerate and thoughtful act. That night was one of the best nights of my life.

Later that evening I thanked Adam for making me sweetheart, and he said, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I didn’t nominate you. My brothers did.”

The consideration and the thoughtfulness from these men just meant the world to me. I told them if they ever needed anything, I’m down the street and I’m here for them.

As a parent, our job is to raise our children and let them go out into the world on their own. We want our kids to be strong, independent and be able to handle themselves. I know my son is on his way to that because of SigEp.

If you’ve never been around a fraternity, you really can’t understand the feeling that they can provide. SigEp has made me appreciate Adam’s fraternity life.

I love these boys. They’re something else. My son joined and got a houseful of brothers, and I got a houseful of sons.

I’m a very lucky mom. I’m a very lucky sweetheart.

In early April, the chapter continued to make a difference for Shelli. The brothers hosted an auction called Shave to Save that raised money for breast cancer research. Twenty members were put up on auction, with the highest bidders earning the right to shave their heads. Shelli’s luck didn’t end with becoming the chapter’s sweetheart or Shave to Save. On May 22, Shelli Reichstein completed her last treatment.