Last week, I had the opportunity to be a part of the SIU-Edwardsville fraternity and sorority life delegation at the Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values Central Conference in Indianapolis. The four-day conference was chocked full of education, growth, collaboration and networking all intertwined with fellowship and fun. Our 15-member delegation represented the interfraternity council, panhellenic council, national panhellenic council, Greek council, as well as 11 individual Greek-letter organizations. Overall, the conference hosted more than 3,200 fraternity and sorority leaders, four keynote speakers, 12 featured speakers and over 200 educational sessions. I learned a number of quality lessons throughout my time at AFLV. Here are my four key takeaways from the weekend:
“Just because it is not your job, does not mean it is not your responsibility.” — Jess Ekstrom
This lesson hit home for me. Jess Ekstrom, founder and CEO of Headbands of Hope, helped me reflect on all of the times that I just walk past a problem thinking, “I do not get paid to do that,” or “Surely someone else will take care of it.” This rings extremely true for fraternity and sorority life, campus involvement and jobs; however, it goes much deeper than that. We are all members of one race, the human race, and we all have a certain social responsibility to look out for one another and aid in the progression of humanity. Next time you see a problem that you are fully able to solve, solve it. You do not need a name badge or a title to be a socially responsible human being.
“We cannot learn from people who are perfect. We can only learn from people who are imperfect.” — James Robilotta
I cannot count the number of times I have heard Brene Brown preach about being vulnerable. I never really took her words to heart. Maybe it was because of the overuse of the word ‘vulnerable’ in her numerous Ted Talks. Maybe I just did not want to hear it at that time. This weekend, it finally made sense. James Robilotta, author of Leading Imperfectly, hammered Brene Brown’s point into my head. I have the tendency to put up fronts and try to emit an air of perfection. I struggle to let my imperfections shine through, and I truly believe that is something most of us struggle with. In our minds, we think that showing imperfections will cause us to be weak in the eyes of others. In reality, when we let our imperfections and weaknesses show, we appear as stronger humans and leaders. Weaknesses allow us to be relatable to others. Everyone makes mistakes; that is simply a fact of life. Our mistakes do not define us, it is how we pick ourselves up from the mistakes that does.
“How can you lead others’ lives in a positive direction, if you cannot lead your own life in the right direction?” — Dr. Lori Hart
All too often, leaders get so caught up in helping and serving others that we forget to lead our own lives in a positive direction. We are all too passionate and put everyone and everything else before ourselves. We lose sight of ourselves. In order to effectively lead, we have to be cognizant of that and remember to put ourselves first once in a while. Leadership is all about setting the example. If we cannot be beacons of positivity and growth, we will never be able to be effective. We must be able to walk the talk.
“Lead like you are leading leaders. Lead them like they are stupid, and they will be stupid.” — Dr. Lori Hart
This is an issue that I struggle with. I have the tendency to subconsciously speak down to others that have not had the same experiences as I. I am inclined to assume that they will not understand what I am saying unless I break it down into basic principles. I am going to work very hard to stop this negative habit in its tracks. I need to constantly remind myself that the reason I am where I am today is because of the influence of other people. Numerous people have believed in me when I did not believe in myself. In order to be an effective leader, I must begin believing that absolutely everyone has something to bring to the table, whether I can initially see it or not. People are the most valuable things we will ever come in contact with.
I am extremely grateful that I had the opportunity to represent SIU-Edwardsville’s interfraternity council as the vice president of marketing and communications, Sigma Phi Epsilon Illinois Eta Chapter as the vice president of standards, and Sigma Phi Epsilon Headquarters as a communications intern at AFLV Central. This was an experience that I will not soon forget and I hope to attend again in the future.
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